Saturday, 15 October 2011

In a slump

I know, I haven't posted in a while, but I'm here now. I just don't have anything specific to say.
It's been raining non-stop for a week, but now - finally - the sun is shining, the sky is blue and cloudless, and it's Saturday. Yay!
My family came to visit from Sweden last weekend. We had two days of shopping and our feet hurt badly afterwards, but I was just so happy to see them again! School is not as hard as I thought it would be - I have mixed feelings about it in that I both enjoy it and am frightened by it. I enjoy having so much free time because I didn't want another "IB" course, and because in the four months I've had summer vacation, I've become very lazy. I'm frightened, however, because it feels like I should learn more by having more homework, and because I'm actually paying for this course, and of course I want it to teach me everything so that I don't come out of it in three years wondering what I took the course for... So there you have it, mixed feelings.
At the same time, I work with my novel, of course. It's not going very well, though. I have like a hundred pages of scrapped chapters, while I haven't even a word on the real novel. I'm in some kind of slump where I hate everything I write and it hurts my inspiration. I came up with several new details yesterday, but I'm not moving forward on the actual writing. I hate it. And in school, it feels like every other person in the room are more talented than me - especially since I'm the only non-native English speaker. I want to be able to control the language as good as they do. I try so hard. I really do. Then my mom reminded me that I've only been here for a month and a half and that I'll get better. I sincerely hope so.

Have any of you ever felt like you aren't cut out for being a writer? Like there are so many talenter writers in the world that you would never get a second glance, that you can't ever compare to those writers? What do you do when such a period occurs?Any idea how I can get out of it and believe in myself again?